Five Secrets for Moving On After A Break Up

I’m here to share my secrets for moving on after a break-up. The aftermath of a separation, whether you were married, cohabitating, or in any other type of committed relationship, can be a very difficult time. It’s a time of adjustment, transition, and letting go. But it is also a time for discovery. Through the pain and chaos comes an opportunity for transformation. This is especially true if you were sharing your space with your partner. It is a time to sort through the past, deciding what memories to keep and which to discard, while simultaneously dreaming up a roadmap of new experiences to be created.

Move On After a Break-Up Secret #1

Energetically Cleanse The House

We are starting off with secret number one for moving on after a break up. Energetically cleanse your space! This is such an important first step to moving on after a break-up because energy leaves a vibrational imprint and if you want to move on, you’ve got to clean out the vibes of the past. This applies even if you didn’t live together. If you only had your ex-partner over to your place, you still want to cleanse the space.

There are several ways you can cleanse your space. You can use sage or palo alto to remove any negative energy. Use this especially if there was a lot of arguing, discord, or abuse between partners. When you use sage or palo alto, make sure to clear your thoughts first, maybe meditate for a few minutes, before you begin. Next set your intentions. For example say out loud or think ” I am bringing joyous and uplifting energy into my space”. Hold the sage in your left hand and move it in a counter clock wise direction. Say your intentions for your space as you sage through each room.

Move On After a Break-Up Secret #2

Rearrange or Replace Furniture

A second secret for moving on after a break up is to revitalize your living space. A huge part of bringing in new energy into a space involves rearranging furniture as well as replacing old furniture with new. Rearranging furniture is an affordable way to change the energy in your home because it doesn’t cost a dime. Use feng shui to determine the best lay out for your living space. Check out elementalglam.com for a free feng shui ba gua map to assist you with your furniture arrangements.

But if you are willing to spend some money, this is a good time to re-define your style. Go ahead. Redecorate. Redesign. Replace. And reimagine your living space. Bring in art, decor, or colors that make you feel good. Replace that shared couch that you and your ex picked out together. That couch that you had to compromise on the color to please your ex. Start fresh with a new one. One that you love. Out with the old vibes, in with the new, you vibes.

Move On After a Break-Up Secret # 3

Dump or Donate Relationship Items

Additionally, the aftermath of a break up is a good time to declutter and donate. Sifting through your stuff and deciding what items continue to have a place in your life and which no longer serve a purpose can help to accelerate the “moving on” process. Decluttering can be cathartic. Even though they may just be material things, they still hold an energy and a value to them.

And if knowing that finding items from your ex could be a trigger for unresolved feelings, it’s better to confront this process upfront. It’s better to remove these items from your living space so that they don’t resurface at an unexpected time and set you back in your healing process. Take the time now to process the feelings that come up for you as you declutter and find items from your relationship.

Move Through Your Feelings

The only way to deal with your feelings in a healthy manner is to move through them. Don’t avoid them, don’t push them to the side, and definitely don’t push down. Give your feelings the attention they deserve! If you don’t, not to scare you, but they will pop up later, in a bigger way, and in a way that gets your attention. So might as well work through these feelings early on and lesson their power over you. This will free up your energy for focusing on creating new opportunities for yourself.

Move On After a Break-Up Secret #4

Designate A Space to Create

Following is my fourth secret to moving on after a break up, removing your attention from the past and placing it onto the future. When we put our time, energy, and thoughts into creating, it is an excellent way to move forward from the echoes of the past. Creating leads to forward thinking thoughts which put our emotional being into a calm and positive space. This leads us to becoming excited about our future, our future that we have the opportunity to create. Invest in creating a space in your home where you can do something creative. Being a part of the creative process increases our mindfulness, meaning it puts us in the moment. Whether it be writing, playing music, drawing, painting, sewing, blogging, crafting, any form of creating can help you stop ruminating about the past.

Focus On The Future

And, let’s face it, the past is gone. We can’t change it. We can’t recreate it. All we can do is learn from it and integrate in a way that makes us a better person. Ruminating and overthinking things you can not change will only lead to you being stuck. Like a car stuck in the mud. Stuck in quicksand. Unable to move forward. Igniting your creative mind is a way to start your engine. And once your engine is started, you can begin driving forward on the road. A road illuminated by your imagination. A road leading to new vistas, heights, adventures, emotions, people, sights, peeks, and valleys. It’s okay to look back once in a while, but only to see how far you’ve come.

Move On After a Break-Up Secret # 5

Feed Your Soul

One of the final secrets for moving on after a break-up, is to do things that ignite and feed your soul. When you take the time to nurture your soul, the light within you will sparkle. Find the thing that brings you joy. Maybe you’ve always had a passion for music. Dedicating a time and a space to listening, downloading or playing music may be what you need to nourish your soul.

Follow Your Passions

Or maybe your passionate about health and fitness. Designating a space in your home where you can workout, stretch, or do yoga will help ensure that it is a part of your life. It doesn’t have to be complex, a lot of moving around and buying things, it could be as simple as having a space to roll out a yoga mat. Another idea with a simple set up is a reading nook. Create a comfy seating area with a chair or pillows, a blanket and a few good books near by. It’s about creating a space that is more like a warm embrace.

Additionally, I don’t want you to think that it just has to be one thing that sparks your joy. It could be multiple things. You could have a room that shows your growing interest in plants as well as your enjoyment of working out like we see in the picture below.

Furthermore, moving on after a breakup is a time for reflecting on the lessons this experience offers us and learning from it. Another gift it brings us is opportunities. It’s the best time to start a new hobby or interest that you never had the time to do before because you were coupled up. Maybe you’ve always wanted to be a plant mama/plant daddy. Maybe you know you’ll take pride when you see your little greenies grow. So what better time than now to plant and nurture those seeds.

Focus On A Future Feeling

But if you feel like it’s hard to get started, focus on the feeling you’ll have when you are engaged in your joyful activity. Think about how good, calm and focused you feel after a work out. Or how sweet the musical frequency ride is. When you think about these feel good feelings it will motivate you to get started. And a long this road of learning and discovery, of moving on after a break up, please be kind to yourself. No judgements. Remember… we’re all only human living a human experience.